Guilty,

They left earlier this morning, it was so hard knowing that they wasn't coming back. It hurts so much, and its selfish of me to sit here and cry about it and want them to actually come back. I should be happy foe' them, chuz they're going back home, to where they're actually happy and not locked up in a house all day. Its jst that I'ma gonna miss them so much. They made such a huge impact on my life foe' what the past 6 - 7 years? They're the ones who looked after me when momma dukes and poppa dukes was takin on two jobs, chasin' that paper. Took care of me, made shure I was well fed and clean. Gmama's even cleaned my room and washed my clothes, the whole nine yards. Not only that, they loved me unconditionally no matter what, even if I was a bit hard headed and lazy. Encouraged me to do my best in school w/o putting pressure on me, like everybody esle did. Blaah, I've grown so attached to them. I love them and I don't want them to go, but I have to understand, that they're not happy here and that they deserve to be happy so I should want thhem to go home. I don't know. I'm so hurt, its undescrible.

And then there's, great grandpa. Jeezus lord, this is where everything gets worse. He's really ill, and might not even make it. Yes, I didn't know him that well, and I only met him once. But hearing mommy and Uncle Tai talk about him, makes me want to get to know him more. They talked about how a generous man he was, and how everybody loved him. Maybe thats where my grandma got her loving ways from. And they said they named the whole entire village after him. Huy, I jst wish I could fly out there, and see him again. And this time, actually get to know him and talk to him. I barely remember him. I mean, I remember who he is, but I don't really remember any memories that I shared w/ him when I went to vist. He remembers though. I know, I'm such a horrible person foe' not remembering but yet he can. I jst hope and pray that he makes it so I can see one last time, but if he doesn't. I understand, he lived thru it all, the good and bad. And came out on top. He's god faithful servant, right?