It's better off being alone.

Now a days, I find myself not wanting to be around anyone and jst wanting to go home so I can lock myself in my room and sulk about the past. I know the sun won't shine as bright as it did yesterday and the damages that had happened, happened. It was out of my control, all I can do is accept it && move on. I try to...but I can't. Something inside of me pulls me back and flashbacks hits me every second of the day. Even being around the ones, I love, jst doesn't feel right anymore. I feel out of place, like something is missing. I jst can't pin point it. Either that, I jst don't feel like I belong. Yeah, they make me smile but its only foe' a limited time. It fades away as fast as it appeared. HUY, I don't know whats wrong with me. Maybe it's jst a phase and I'm over reacting. I jst...hope that soon things will fall back into place, but knowing my life, things jst get rougher and rougher. Huyy.

As far as friends, Ifeel like I have absolutely no connection with anybody. They jst don't understand, they try to and I love them foe' that but its jst, eh. I hate feeling like a burden to them, so I jst act as if nothing is wrong, and smile. It's what best foe' everybody, right? I shouldn't bring them down along with me, I should let them continue their lives. It would be selfish of me if I didn't. BUT, one things foe' shuree. I appreciate one of them the most, foe' everything they do. Javon booth. :) Gaah, he always make shure that theres a smile on my face or I'm happy. When I'm down, he's always there tryna make me smile and won't give up to. Yeah, it's kinda hard telling him whats on my mind, because I'm scared that he won't understand, but its okay. He jst sit there and listen, its nice having someone not say anything and jst listen to whats on yer mind, ya know. It's relieving. OH, and all those times, when I was ganged up on, he was always there, standing up foe' me. Hahaha, good times. I love him so much foe' everything he's done foe me, and I can't thank him enough.